“It is also possible to measure one’s personal sense of fulfillment or frustration by the depth of relatedness and intimate contact, by the strength of one’s feelings one permits oneself to experience, and by the openness and willingness to give and receive. The degree of frustration indicates an absence of contact, which in turn is a precise indicator that the self withdraws from the challenge that relationship is, thereby sacrificing personal fulfillment, pleasure, love, and joy. When sharing is wanted on the basis of receiving only according to one’s own terms while the self is really (although secretly) unwilling to do any sharing, longings must remain unfulfilled. People would be well advised to consider their unfulfilled longings from this point of view rather than indulging in the usual assumption that one is unlucky and unfairly put upon by life.” (PL #180)
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