“The tendency to make oneself emotionally dependent on others — the awareness of which is such an important aspect of the growth process — is largely due to wanting to absolve oneself from either blame or difficulty when establishing, maintaining, and sustaining a relationship… Doing this renders one indeed helpless and brings about precisely such a state between two equally undesirable alternatives as I just mentioned before: isolation or unending pain and friction with others. It is only when one begins to truly assume self-responsibility by looking at one’s own problem in the contact and by willingness to change, that freedom is established and relationships become fruitful and joyous.” (PL #180)